Easy.

Weekends are a funny thing around here. After staying inside all day because of the hot summer sun, I went to my favorite lake in the city to take a walk this evening. When I don't have plans with others, weekends are the hardest for me. If it's a Monday, Tuesday, or any other weekday I don't care. But I have the mindset that if I don't have anyone to hang out with on the weekends, I have no friends. I am aware of how ridiculous this is, but it's just how I feel =) 
As I was walking around the lake, hearing the waves lap against the shore, listening to the low hum of ski-boats taking one last spin before the sun sets, and  feeling the cool breeze off the lake, I wanted to fast forward my life to July when I will be at our family cottage. 
A few weeks ago, someone asked me what I missed most about my life in Michigan. Without even thinking, I responded "I miss how easy my life was in Michigan." I had never put that into words, and I now realize that is exactly how I feel sometimes. If I didn't have any plans on the weekend, no big deal, I could just drive down to my sisters and hang out with her family. I could go home and see my parents. I could sit alone at my apartment watching a movie and not feel like a loser because I was secure  where I was. It's funny how just moving to a new city can shake your security. And as I was walking and listening to worship music, trying to channel some warm fuzzy feelings from the Lord, I could hear him whispering "Why are you in want? I have given you everything you need!" How true that is. I have been given the greatest gift of grace and He longs for me to open my hands and heart to be filled, but I so often run after "broken cisterns that cannot hold water" (Jeremiah 2:13). Friendships, boys, perfection at work- all good things, but they  will never truly satisfy. I don't know what this next year will bring-  a new city, a new job, new friendships, or maybe everything will be the same in my life, including not having plans some weekends. Whatever it looks like, I pray that even when it's not easy, that I will glorify Him.